A lifetime of being with someone…that’s a really long, long time. You will change, your spouse will change, and things between you will change—almost from day one. In fact, all of this should happen if you want that lifetime together with your partner.
A commitment itself is a change. By committing yourself to someone, you are agreeing to the coming together of two people, two families, two societies, and sometimes even two cultures. For all of this to co-exist in harmony, be prepared for some of the following as soon as you decide to say “I do”…
Less of I, more of we
This is the most obvious—and yet the most important and not often taken heed of – change. When we say “Less of I” it does not mean you forget or neglect yourself. It just means that there is somebody who shares this journey called life with you and it’s vital to take shared decisions. Take heed of that fact and that person not only when you decide important changes like job, residence, etc., but also smaller stuff like shopping and entertaining. In fact, you might want to do some things together over weekends so you get time with each other after a hectic week at work.
Compromise is inevitable
Remember it’s all about give and take; you cannot only give or only take. So bend a little and accommodate a little – habits, temperament, likes, interests. Learn to let go of smaller issues and learn to do a few things that are important to your partner.
Reset your priority list
Earlier a holiday may have been top of you annual to-do list. Now it might be more important to pay off your bills, do the household chores, and later some other things that will hog space on your priority list (read kids!) Even your bigger goals, dreams and desires for yourself may undergo a change. You might have to give up some or put them on the back-burner as you take stock of what’s important for your life together.
Two’s the magic number
Now there are two sets of parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, co-workers who will take up your time and attention. Make the effort to deal with them with respect, caring and consideration – just as your partner will look after yours. Maintain the right balance between both the sets of families, and know where to draw the line between concern and interference.
Feeling secure
You won’t help but notice a cosy, secure feeling that characterizes you once you are committed. Finding your special someone to share your happiness and also your sorrows and worries and anguishes with goes a long way in helping you feel safer and more secure about the future. Everything seems less stressful when divided by two.
Taking more responsibility
Many married/committed folks may suddenly feel a huge sense of responsibility that was absent during their single days. You will want to return home on time, communicate your whereabouts, bring home groceries, pay bills and insurance premiums on time – a lot of chores you would have earlier left till the last possible moment. You may also feel more energetic and productive at work and perform better because you want to do well and earn well. It’s almost as if you grow up and become mature!
Don’t be surprised if you observe the above changes in yourself or your other half. That’s all part and parcel of making a commitment. It’s a life-changing step!
Intocandidphotography | TJPStudioCoUk | Main image by Samm Blake Photography
Dipa M
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